When I was younger and going through a lot of hard times in my life.. poetry was an outlet of mine. I could express things that I could not say out loud, and it provided a lot of comfort for me where there was none anywhere else. It was really hard with all the moving around, and not quite understanding what was happening. I remember falling in love with some *Robert Frost poems.. most of which I don't remember.. but.. "Stopping by woods on a snowy evening," was my absolute favorite. Yes, I know it might be a popular one.. but it created such a beautiful image for me of Winter, and winter was my favorite time of year when I was little. It's a short poem, but still has a lot to it. The snow was always so peaceful. I used to sit and stare at the trees under the weight of a blanket of snow, and almost get lost in it.

What made me happy is that as I grew older, it was a bit easier for me to write.. even though as a lot of people said.. my work was pretty dark.. but I had touched some friends, and some strangers even.. and that really meant something to me. I know I tend to use ellipses a lot, and that's just because I like to write things similar to the way I think. I hope that made sense.

My mom told me that when I was 16, she was going to publish some of my poetry and let me make a book. Due to a lot of things going on.. that didn't happen. But somehow.. I ended up having a friend that asked me to do a book with him. So it happened. No, I didn't make any money off of it.. and that's alright by me. He paid for everything to make the book, and asked me to do half of it as my work after he already started. Just having my work out there was enough for me.

Sometimes when my brain is seemingly on overdrive.. and I want to write really really bad.. I can't. The worst was times when I came up with poems in my head and didn't have any paper to write them down.

My mom used to write a lot when she was younger.. beautifully too.. She started to write again recently.. but then the medicine she was on made her stop again.. It kind of makes me upset and wish that things weren't so hard for her. I don't really feel like getting into things here.. so if you know, you know.. and if you don't.. well.. sorry.
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Also, earlier this morning I awoke with a start... I was having a horrible nightmare and it freaked me out... then I drifted back off to sleep and it continued? Anyone ever have dreams like that?
I remember fragments of it. There was a little boy and his mom was crazy, and I remember later in the dream the mom ends up taking a huge knife and cutting her arm or hand off! The locations for the dream kept changing too... from places I've never seen before to somewhat like the tiny apartment I lived in when I was little. A few other people got hurt or killed in the dream too, but it was pretty much people I've never seen before. I was really scared because it seemed so real, and there was even a part where I was in this small room and I hear my cat scratching at the door, and then it went quiet... then some quick human-like creature came in the room and attacked the person who was with me, then bit my hand, to which I tried to pry it's mouth open (because I realized I was dreaming then... I have no clue how! and thus, threw myself into a lucid dream), but what was strange is my hand hurt where it bit. Then I woke up!
I usually never have dreams that scary. It's not like I was watching a scary movie before I went to bed.

Oh well. If anyone reads this (since I don't usually write journals on here, who knows!), you should write down one of your craziest or happiest dreams. That'd be fun to read about.